I’m Tukayote, An Unkillable Love
Recovery Through Love. No Anesthesia. No Bullshit. 🥰
Category: Mentals and Recovery
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Anxiety waves, boundary violations, cravings. I walked 4.26mph tonight trying to get the war out of my system. Behind every craving I’ve ever had is the same thing: an anxiety/fear part that Roxy will do anything to protect. She’s a dopamine girl, and she’s exhausted. Part of my 2025 work is figuring out how to…
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Three years ago, I publicly declared I was thriving—healthier than ever, fewer meds, solid friendships, my kids doing better. Four days later, I was drunk, high, manic, suicidal, psychotic, and locked in a psychiatric ward. That cycle repeated until I finally told myself the truth: sobriety wasn’t a preference, it was the only way forward.…
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I was drunk, bleeding on the ground at 2AM after a 7 mile walk home from work. It took two more years and two more intoxicated ER psych visits before I fully understood the grip alcohol had on me. I’m still learning what the damage looks like. But today, I’m 341 days sober, and I’m…
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Anxiety has been with me since childhood. I’ve used a lot of things to numb it. Cannabis was one of the better ones — until I stopped cold turkey to prep for brain scans, and found out it had a death grip on me I never saw coming. Now I’m in full withdrawals, feeling like…
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A Christmas letter to my estranged daughters. This year cracked me open in the best possible way — therapy, bipolar treatment, transformation. I’m not the same person I was. I’m not asking them to forget the past. I’m asking for a future where we get to find out who we’ve all become. I miss them…