Tukayote Helianthus: Unkillable
No Anesthesia. No Bullshit. All Love. 🥰
Tag: consequences
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Ego death isn’t a breakthrough. It’s not enlightenment. It’s not a glow-up. It’s the violent collapse of an identity that was keeping you alive while quietly killing you. I ended patterns that were destroying me and detonated my nervous system in the process. I stopped avoiding. I stopped numbing. I stopped performing stability for other…
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This piece was written after avoidance failed and accountability became unavoidable. Behind Old Bellingham City Hall, with the bass of Drowning in the Drip grounding me in my body, I stayed present with the harm I caused, the consequences I earned, and the amends I am making without asking for forgiveness. This is not a…
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This is not a villain story. It is an accountability story. I’m not sharing details to justify myself or narrate someone else’s experience. I’m sharing impact, ownership, and the parts that belong to me. Without that, nothing that came after makes sense. Who I loved was real. What we built was real. And so was…
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One of the cruelest parts of bipolar disorder is never fully trusting good feelings. Is this joy—or the start of hypomania? Is it real, or is it a glitter-bomb that’s about to explode into consequences? Right now, I can see that some recent “good” feelings were actually mild destabilization during a medication change. Not a…
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Emotional urges can hijack the wheel fast. You know the choice won’t help, you see the outcome coming—and sometimes you do it anyway. For me, that looks like food that spikes my blood sugar. Tonight, I didn’t use a skill I know works: Opposite Action. And I’m living with the consequence. But this isn’t about…