My Recovery journey.
No Anesthesia.
No Bullshit.
All love.
🥰
Tag: guilt
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Everyone has had a name for it. Isolating. Manic. Avoidant. Lonely. Shutting down. The diagnoses have been flying in from every direction, from people who love me, from people who used to, from people who saw something unfamiliar and decided that must mean something is wrong. I understand the impulse. I don’t accept the label.…
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I woke up crying with unrelenting grief and the kind of guilt that doesn’t fade with insight or healing. Some choices can’t be undone. Some love breaks beyond repair. Dancing to Over My Head at high tide became the only honest response. No rescue. No repair. Just pressure, accountability, and the choice to live differently…
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Ego death isn’t a breakthrough. It’s not enlightenment. It’s not a glow-up. It’s the violent collapse of an identity that was keeping you alive while quietly killing you. I ended patterns that were destroying me and detonated my nervous system in the process. I stopped avoiding. I stopped numbing. I stopped performing stability for other…
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This piece was written after avoidance failed and accountability became unavoidable. Behind Old Bellingham City Hall, with the bass of Drowning in the Drip grounding me in my body, I stayed present with the harm I caused, the consequences I earned, and the amends I am making without asking for forgiveness. This is not a…
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This is not a villain story. It is an accountability story. I’m not sharing details to justify myself or narrate someone else’s experience. I’m sharing impact, ownership, and the parts that belong to me. Without that, nothing that came after makes sense. Who I loved was real. What we built was real. And so was…