Tukayote Helianthus: Unkillable
No Anesthesia. No Bullshit. All Love. 🥰
Tag: internal family systems
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Most people don’t wake up thinking about dopamine. I do. For me, it isn’t a trendy neuroscience term — it’s the invisible force behind my focus, my addictions, and my long road to recovery. Living with a chronically low dopamine baseline feels like existing in grayscale while everyone else lives in color. Substances once felt…
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One month ago, I walked away from the IT industry—not impulsively, but out of necessity. What finally broke the spell wasn’t burnout or boredom, but a deeper realization: staying was costing me my emotional and physical health. This is the story of choosing emotional sobriety, radical self-love, and a different path forward—one rooted in recovery,…
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I was diagnosed with Bipolar I in 2007, but the truth is my war with myself started long before that—shaped by childhood trauma, military exposure, toxic relationships, and years of survival-mode coping. I lost jobs, housing, stability, and nearly my sense of self. What changed wasn’t a miracle cure. It was ownership. I got sober.…
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Meet Roxy: my fiercest protector and most relentless firefighter. Her job is simple—keep me away from fear at any cost. Her weapon is dopamine. When alcohol and nicotine were taken off the table, she didn’t disappear; she adapted. Food became the new delivery system. What I’m learning is uncomfortable but crucial: addiction doesn’t vanish when…
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2025 is the year I strip everything away to find my true mental health baseline. No alcohol. No cannabis. No kratom. No nicotine. No caffeine. No dopamine chasing. Just me, my brain, and the hard questions I’ve been avoiding for years. I want to know who I am without numbing, without escape, without outsourcing fear…