Post Tagged with: "Mindfulness"

What the f*ck is IFS (Internal Family Systems) and why should you care?

I have written a few things about IFS and shared a few stories on Facebook and Insta. And by few, I mean probably hundreds over the course of a few years. I have a tendency to not shut up when I discover something that is truly lifechanging. I found a new thing. Well, not new, because parts work (like IFS) has been done in many fashions over the course of history. IFS parts work has shown me how to unwire the unhelpful/unneeded/unnecessary trauma-born responses to triggers, and keep myself regulated and in control of my emotions/feelings. IFS parts work has helped me stop drinking alcohol and walk away from Kratom. IFS parts work has helped me calm down and transform my anger into something that helps me instead of hurting everone. What the f*ck is IFS (Internal Family Systems) and why should you care? I’m not going to answer that […]

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TL:DR – Love your parts.

per·ma·nence /ˈpərm(ə)nən(t)s/ noun The state of lasting or remaining unchanged indefinitely. The Serenity Prayer, an important part of 12 step programs, says, “ God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.” This past week, I hit a wall with my parts. They were polarized. One part wanted acceptance and the other part wanted to reject reality. Of what? For me, it isn’t accepting things I can change. I have mastered asking myself that question. It is the bigger question, have I accepted things I cannot change? Or am I believing a big myth that (insert thing here) will get better? Am I staring at a long downward trend, convincing myself it’ll turn around any day now? Metaphorically speaking, am I watching a very hungry cougar stalk me on the trail and believing that […]

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Acceptance. And Uncertainty.

Psychological acceptance means embracing thoughts, emotions, and inner experiences without judgment and without trying to change them. In an Internal Family Systems session today, I got a heavy dose of reality. So much of what bothers me comes from my denial, my judgments, my black-and-white thinking, and my constant attempts to change things I don’t like. I have protector parts that guard me from facing these unwanted things. Instead of listening to them or building a relationship, I’ve been denying their existence or blaming them for my struggles. On Monday, I finally accepted something hard: healing my childhood trauma is my responsibility. My anger toward my parents wasn’t helping me heal, it was keeping me stuck. I chose to accept their role in raising me, to stop judging them, and to stop trying to change the past. I can’t rewrite history. I can only accept it, focus on the present, […]

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