For years I have masked a heavy dependence on dopamine stimulating activities. Call it what you want…alcohol use disorder, kratom use disorder, substance use disorder, tobacco use disorder, addiction, dependence, etc… All of these are listed in my medical records. One by one, I have been working on redefining my relationships with these things and finding ways to live without them. Its been a real fucking struggle. 653 days without alcohol. 650 days without a cigarette. 379 days without kratom. 8 days without energy drinks. 4 days without marijuana. 2 days without nicotine. And about 10 minutes without caffeine. Im doing the internal work and becoming more and more emotionally sober. I have made peace with the parts of my internal family systems that drive me to use. I am doing everything I can and I still can’t seem to go five minutes without dopamine seeking. I have suspected for […]
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What the f*ck is IFS (Internal Family Systems) and why should you care?
I have written a few things about IFS and shared a few stories on Facebook and Insta. And by few, I mean probably hundreds over the course of a few years. I have a tendency to not shut up when I discover something that is truly lifechanging. I found a new thing. Well, not new, because parts work (like IFS) has been done in many fashions over the course of history. IFS parts work has shown me how to unwire the unhelpful/unneeded/unnecessary trauma-born responses to triggers, and keep myself regulated and in control of my emotions/feelings. IFS parts work has helped me stop drinking alcohol and walk away from Kratom. IFS parts work has helped me calm down and transform my anger into something that helps me instead of hurting everone. What the f*ck is IFS (Internal Family Systems) and why should you care? I’m not going to answer that […]
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