Tukayote Helianthus: Unkillable
RECOVERY, EMOTION, CLARITY, PICTURES, AND TUNES. NO ANESTHESIA. NO BULLSHIT.
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2025 is the year I strip everything away to find my true mental health baseline. No alcohol. No cannabis. No kratom. No nicotine. No caffeine. No dopamine chasing. Just me, my brain, and the hard questions I’ve been avoiding for years. I want to know who I am without numbing, without escape, without outsourcing fear management to addiction. Alcohol nearly destroyed my life, my relationships, and my mind. Walking away from it wasn’t moral or virtuous—it was necessary for survival. This isn’t just sobriety. It’s a deep investigation into fear, trauma, chemistry, and healing, and an open invitation to anyone…
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Three years ago, I publicly declared I was thriving—healthier than ever, fewer meds, solid friendships, my kids doing better. Four days later, I was drunk, high, manic, suicidal, psychotic, and locked in a psychiatric ward. That cycle repeated until I finally told myself the truth: sobriety wasn’t a preference, it was the only way forward. On January 13, 2024, I stopped drinking. Choosing sobriety—first from alcohol, then from kratom—became one of the deepest acts of self-love I’ve ever made. Now my goal is simple and radical: to understand my true baseline mental health, without substances distorting it. That clarity feels…
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